The weekend before last we went to a free children’s play at a local nursery store.  The play was Rumpelstiltskin and I had heard of it, but didn’t know the story.  A few minutes into the short play, the strange old man, Rumpelstiltskin, is trying to take the queen’s baby away.  Li Li was sitting happily in her Papa’s lap until this scene and started sticking her lip out and look at me.  I tried to reassure her, assuming she surely can’t understand what they are talking about (Koen barely did!) and within a few moments she had worked herself into a cry.  Papa carried her out and for the remaining 15 minutes of the play, he wandered the store with her and she wouldn’t let him put her down.  Afterward we talked with her about it and she clearly understand that the old man was trying to take the baby from her mama, and she was very sad about it.  I was surprised that she understand it all so well, and thankful for the opportunity to reassure her that she will always be in our family.  But, I was also surprised at how deeply her abandonment has affected her.  She surely doesn’t remember her initial abandonment at birth, but I’m sure even if she doesn’t clearly remember the last day she saw her foster family of 13 months, she holds the pain of being taken away from them.  Every now and then we see that pain surface – usually as sadness, sometimes as fear.  Sometimes she wakes from her nap with a cry different than her normal cry.  She is clearly mourning and sad and needs extra snuggle time to move on.

About kelly_e

We live in WA state and have been traveling the road of adoption since 2/07. We have a biological son who is a joy and look forward to bringing home his sister soon.
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1 Response to Rumpelstiltskin

  1. Barbara Kline says:

    Maddie absolutely understands a baby being left and she reacts the same as Lili. She asks frequently when she sees a baby (shopping or out and about) where is the baby’s mommy? She is insistent about it too – the mommy MUST be found. It is sad but understandable that our little girls would have memories of being taken away from someone they loved. Lili is very smart and perceptive – she would understand the implications of a child being taken away. It isn’t just a fairy tale to her – it happened to her.

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