I was reminded last night that I haven’t blogged in a long time. In a way, you can read this as a good thing. This blog started out as a journal of our adoption journey and once we welcomed Liliana into our family, it became more about our adjustment and bonding issues. In the last several months I feel like our family has very unified and healthy. I feel like we have found our normal and are generally enjoying each other.
Li Li is sweet and wild, silly and gentle. She laughs a lot and makes us laugh a lot. She and her brother have the best time together one minute and are yelling and fighting the next. They are completely normal siblings.
Li Li is a talker. She always seems to have a need to fill a silent moment (her and her brother both – so silent moments are rare). The funny thing is that she fills them with one of five phrases she chooses from:
- “I’m hungry” (said in a a very whiny voice)
- “I’m dir-dee” (translated: Thirsty, this one is used most often at bed time)
- “When is Sunday School?” (to which I enjoy answering: “on Sunday”)
- “When is my birthday?” (she thinks it should be today, everyday)
- “Mama, I love you.” (this one is my favorite – sometimes the Mama is replaced with “Papa”)
The last one is said often when she and I are spending time alone together. Sometimes it makes me concerned because it seems a little odd to say it so often. I worry maybe she feels insecure so she needs to check in on our love situation?
The other night we went bowling with friends. This was a first for both Koen and LiLi and they were very excited. About half way through, Li Li said phrase #1 (see above) and I pulled out a snack for her. She had started eating her snack when it was her turn to bowl, so I helped her down from her chair and helped her roll her first ball down the isle (at an incredibly slow rate of speed!). After releasing her ball, she went back to her snack. When I called her back to do her second ball, she became upset. I think she thought I was saying she couldn’t have her snack, but I was just saying she needed to finish her turn so the other kids go….. She was unconsolable until I finally figured out what was wrong. She rolled her ball again and then ate her snack. When she finished her snack though, she seemed very insecure and needed to constantly touch me. I heald her in my lap for a while (between our turns), and when I was to the point of being overstimulated (she does not sit still when in ones lap!), I put her down next to me and she needed to hold my hand. In a way it was sweet, but also a little strange.
There are still times like that every now and then when our attachment seems insecure, but generally we are doing very well.
My volunteer role with Love Without Boundaries has been such a blessings to me. I was recently “promoted” to Cleft Surgery Coordinator and I enjoy having more than 60 kids compared to the 10 I had before. This work though, makes me all the more aware of the need for adoptive families for the children I am attaching to through their pictures and updates. The desire to adopt again is growing, but we feel like the timing won’t be ideal for our family for a while. Keith is starting his coffee business, but while he hasn’t been able to find the right location for a shop, he’s started an online distributing company, where he will sell coffee accessories like cups, saucers, presses, machines…. He’s excited about it, which has been great to see. However, we currently have no income. Hopefully he will start making money soon, but we will see. We also still live in our little 2 bedroom condo, with no garage, and no private yard. I long for space on a daily basis and can’t imagine fitting another child into this home. We can’t even start the paperwork process to adopt another child until we have sold, moved and settled….. So I guess right now I just need to pray.
Our “summer vacation” has started and having both kids home more, with less structure to our days, has been good adoption control (much like birth control). By the end of the day I have been completely done hearing my children and barely able to respond to them appropriately. Hopefully it will get better once we finally get sunshine in the Pacific Northwest.